THE TRUTH DIES IN PARODY
DELIVERING FAKE NEWS YOU CAN COUNT ON
THE TERRIBLE TRUTH
Breaking stories on The Donald’s return to Power and Glory
BREAKING: TRUMP/APPLE RUMOR CONFIRMED
FROM RUSHMORE WITH LOVE
IS IT TRUE?
DID IVANKA TRUMP TWEET AN IMAGE OF HER FATHER, DONALD, SUGGESTING HE SHOULD BE PLACED AMONG THE OTHER DEAD PRESIDENTS ON MOUNT RUSHMORE?
ON DECEMBER 7, 2020, IVANKA TRUMP TWEETED THIS IMAGE OF HER FATHER, FORMER PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, POSING BESIDE THE BUST OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, ABOLISHER OF SLAVERY AND FATHER OF VOTER FRAUD IN GEORGIA, AS THE PRESIDENT WAITED FOR A CORN DOG AT MT. RUSHMORE NATIONAL MONUMENT IN, LIKE-THE-REST-OF-IT, NOWHERE, NORTH DAKOTA.
IS IT TRUE Donald Trump’s face, and most of his chin, will be carved onto Mount Rushmore?
FALSE! The former reality-show host and would-be ruler of the free world, will not be placed on Mount Rushmore, despite extensive tantrums at the State Department. Instead, Trump has agreed to friend Vladimir Putin’s offer to be immortalized on the 20-story monument Celebrating Russian and Bulgarian relations. На здоровье! Na Zdorovie!
“….And on the pedestal these words appear:
‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”
FACT CHECK: Did the $3M Trump spent in the Wisconsin recount really only win Joe Biden 87 more votes?
RUN, RUN FROM RUDOLPH
CBS TROTS OUT ITS BELOVED XMAS XLASSIC, BUT TERRIBLE LIES TROTS OUT THE TRUTH BEHIND ITS TORTURED PRODUCTION
FALSE: Though the recount resulted in Biden gaining 87 votes, the $3 million spent will also see the Chippewa-tribe named Lake Waubesa and Lake Peewaukee renamed “Water Hazard One” and “Water Hazard Six,” and the “Little White” schoolhouse in Ripon, Wisconsin, where Republican Party was born in America, will be renamed Trump University II.
BREAKING NEWS: CHINA LANDS PROBE ON MOON
Nation celebrates conquering the challenge of space travel and bad feng shui to bring dusty moon rocks back to China
FACT CHECK: “Did Israel’s elite Mossad commandos assassinate the mastermind behind Iran’s nuclear program?”
LIKELY TRUE: According to Iran’s supreme leader, Supreme Leader, the attack left the scientist with nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and severe radiations burns. In our opinion, such a death clearly points to the kind of sophisticated nuclear weapons only Israel’s Mossad might possess.
TODAY’S TERRIBLE HISTORY
FACT CHECK: “Is it true the Titanic was really blown up?”
TRUE! The Titanic was torpedoed by Finnish warship, Väinämöinen, apparently mistaken by its crew as a thousand-horned serpent, or Tuhatsarvi, from Finnish mythology. To avoid embarrassment, Great Britain and Finland agreed to the cover story of the iceberg. Several crew members of the Väinämöinen were later prosecuted for use of magic potions on duty and were incarcerated, even as others continued to protest their innocence, insisting that the crew had earlier in the day, indeed, spotted a sea serpent eating the egg-sky of the world.
FACT CHECK on breaking news from D.C. and around the world.
GET IN THE LOOP with gossip and industry rumors CONFIRMED!
NO REVISIONS, only Terrible Liar SETS THE RECORD STRAIGHT!
Does a shocking new YouTube document prove our next President is really a wanted man?
DEPP vs. Heard: Round One
Did Amber toss Johnny out a hotel window? We investigate.
WHAT THEY SAY? QUOTABLES
“I am only thinking of my daughter’s best interests and her chances of hooking up again with that millionaire Japanese businessman.”
– Jamie Spears
Jamie Spears was authorized by the California Superior Court to control his daughter, Britney’s, finances and aspects of her daily routine. Twelve years later, the former post-pubescent Disney Playmate is still fighting for control. And more buzz cuts. And for every studded poodle collar she sees in stores.
“Joe Biden is “healthy, vigorous” and “fit to successfully execute the duties of the Presidency,”
— Dr. Kevin O’Connor, who has been Biden’s primary care physician since 2009, and who treated Biden on Sunday, after the President-elect fractured his foot accidentally kicking a 2-pound puppy.
TAKE OUR READERS POLL
Do you believe in a flat earth?
Nowhere near a nice location in
Beverly Hills, California 90210