TRUE! In April of 2011, French firemen, or “le garcons,” responded to a report of an angular-cheeked man in his 50s, either an American or underfed Gypsy, who had fallen from the 12th floor of Hotel L’andouille with a Stratocaster and bottle of Bulleit bourbon.

While never officially filed, reporting officers at the time say Depp, 57, initially blamed the fall on then-wife, Amber Heard, who allegedly called him a “drunken Hollywood prune, who would rather snort Roxicodone off Benicio del Toro’s ass than watch me do squats! Tell me what’s wrong with that!” before pushing Depp down onto the rue below. Depp, himself, later denied the incident, saying he fell while doing his famed “Pirates the Carribean” Capt. Jack Sparrow’s swagger to entertain a bellhop. The bellhop denied the prancing and confirmed that the 114-lbs Ms. Heard had, indeed, picked up, spun over her head, and threw Mr. Depp (112-lbs) off the balcony – after Depp drank a bottle of her Baccarat Rouge Parfum, and refused to stop playing “Jumping Jack Flash” for three hours at a party. “Ironman” actor, Robert Downey Jr., reportedly also at the Partee in Paris, did not respond for comment to Terribleliars.com. Though he seldom does.