Former Israeli space security chief says a Galactic Federation of benign alien beings exist
“The ‘Galactic Federation’ have been in contact with Israel and the US for years, but are keeping themselves a secret to prevent hysteria until humanity is ready.”
Haim Eshed, 87, who served as the head of Israel’s space security program for nearly 30 years, and is currently in charge of making brisket at home, revealed today that Israel and the US have been dealing with aliens for years, and the secret existence of a “Galactic Federation” of overlords.
This human/alien alliance, Eshed says, includes a underground base on Mars, where they discusses intergalactic matters, such as how reveal themselves safely to the human race, and how to keep Elon Musk on Earth.
Although we cannot confirm the location it was taken, Terrible Liars believes it has uncovered the very first photo at this “Galactic Federation,” most likely take on Mars — and probably before lunch.
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The traumatic story behind the making of CBS’ “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Despite what you’ve always thought, “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer” was not made using stop-motion photography
Despite what you’ve always thought, “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer” was not made using stop-motion photography
THE TERRIBLE TRUTH: It is a little known outside the halls of CBS and bed-chambers of Les Moonves, that the 1964 children’s holiday classic was actually filmed using live actors, wearing cumbersome, then-state-of-the-art prosthetics, to create the enduring characters of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.
This rare production still taken on the set of the 1964 Rankin/Bass production of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” shows actor Rip Torn being made up for his role.
To film what would become a cornerstone of the CBS’ holiday programming – alongside reruns of “Manimal” – a team of Rankin/Bass artists applied between 40-100 pounds of modeling clay each day to actor’s faces and toros to sculpt them into the “Rudolph” characters loved, and celebrated by retailers, for the last sixty years.
The film’s production company, Rankin/Bass, wanted to try an experimental technique for “Rudolph.” Always adventurous and stoned, and, thus, thematically fixated on elves and dwarves, Rankin/Bass would nine years later experiment again, bringing Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” to the screen as a garish, half-live action, over-wrought 70s cartoon. Forty years later, director Peter Jackson would once more bring “The Hobbit” to the screen, as garish, half-live action, over-wrought cartoon.
Rankin/Bass hoped to bring a new “Living-dimension” to “Rudolph” making a stop-motion film with real actors, instead puppets. CBS advertising executives, drunk on highballs, were intrigued and okay’d the experiment. But resulting test footage sent children screaming onto the ice at 30 Rock, and the production history of “Rudolph” keep shrouded… until now.
When Bumbles Don’t Bounce
But the production was brutal. “Rudolph” was soon facing 12-hour shoots, and the actors performing under a hundred pounds of clay, being asked to move an inch at a time by stoned hippies, took its toll. Especially on portly, established-redneck actor Burl Ives. Ives, who throughout his career had always cut a stout, Colonel Sanders figure, was a perfect physical match for Sam the Snowman, But Burls labored under his rotund Snowman belly prosthetic. Under the heat of CBS Studios soap-opera lighting, Ives frequently passed out while singing “Silver and Gold,” much to the relief of the crew.
Actor Burl Ives, right, is seen with the mock-up of his Sam the Snowman make-up for “Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer,” shortly before eating the model. The arduous production was reportedly so stressful on the actor, Ives took to nibbling on parts of himself like a snow cone and eating any Christmas toys left lying around the set.
As the production dragged on, things only seemed to get worse. Actor Rip Torn – perhaps best known as cantankerous MIB leader, Zed, in “Men in Black” – also broke down trying to focus his intense personality on his performance as Head Bitchy Elf. An on-set meltdown caused Torn to punch out (either) Rankin or Bass, and then attack the Bumble (not an trained actor, but a newcomer from Central America) with a hammer, as he later would do to his good friend Norman Mailer in the film “Maidenstone.”
An on-set hammer attack by actor Rip Torn left his co-star, the Bumble, missing two rows of teeth. Luckily, the Bumble was able to continue with the film and “Rudolph’s” writers were able to incorporate the terrible method-acting mishap into the story.
Another actor driven to near-exhaustion bringing the strange merger of Tex Ritter’s hokey song and the creepier parts of “Pinnochio” to life, was actor Wilfred Brimley, then a young, New York thespian working toward becoming a star as a grizzled old thesbian. The stress of filming “Rudolph” put the normally rotund Brimley into a weight-loss tailspin, and the result was his part needed to be written to explain away the neurotic “Skinny Santa” that predominates the film.
Given the suffering men go through for the happiness of children at Christmas, this was a Terrible Liar story that needed to be set straight!
NOW TRENDING ON TERRIBLE LIAR: Long before the tabloids stepped in, it was Heard Vs Depp: Round One in Paris. EXCLUSIVE!
WHITE HOUSE WINTER PALACE
First Lady Melania Trump pays tribute to her home-town of Chernobyl decorating for Xmas!
FACT CHECK: Did the Chinese successfully land a space craft on the Moon to collect rock samples?
TRUE! The China National Space Administration (CNSA) announced on Monday that it has landed its unmanned Chang’e-5 probe on the surface of the Moon. The Chinese space agency called the technically complex landing “completely auspicious,” in the face of warnings by astrologers and fen shui experts, that the inter-planetary voyage could be affected by the moon eating the lotus flower, which in known to occur during the Year of the Rat. Chinese space scientists and eBayers behind the project, project at least two days drilling to collect 1 kilo, or 4.4 pounds, of lunar rock.
This artist’s impression shows CNSA’s Chang’e-5 probe setting off firecrackers to slow it’s descent to the lunar surface.
The Chinese government immediately hailed the landing as a major milestone in China’s plans to later return 300 kilograms (661 pounds) of lunar debris back to Earth. After careful analysis, the moon rocks will be shipped to Beijing, where they will be broken up, powdered, and made into aphrodisiacs and male enhancement drugs.
“Some of us see a rhino in the moon,’” says CNSA Communication specialist Wang Chung, as he monitors a sophisticated telemetry board copied from Russia. Chung’s contribution to the mission included getting the Chang-e-5 to communicate effectively though Tik Tok
Even as graduate of the Beijing Institute of Pseudoscience, Chung says he wrote off fears the ship suffered from bad feng shui, which might affect the sophisticated instrumentation aboard the spacecraft, or its delicate balance with nature and the soul.
“CNSA spent a lot of time harmonizing Chang-e-5 with it’s environment. It might implode in deep-space vacuum, be shredded by micro-meteors, or just veer off-course into the sun; which is why Chang-e-5 carries many mirrors and flutes.”
According to CNSA officials, all the moon rocks and soil retrieved by the Chang’e-5 Space Project will soon be available to the Chinese people to boost their sexual prowess. Chinese officials hope the successful return of moon rocks will soon bring prosperity and many boners to its citizens.
FACT CHECK: Is it true the former First Lady’s Christmas decorations at the White House this year have a Soviet theme?
TRUE! Rotten Liars has obtained exclusive photos that show Former First Lady Melania Trump drew on tender memories of her childhood in the Motherland, taking selfies in the snow, tautening her face muscles against the wintery winds of the frozen playground of the Czars.
LEFT: Whirlybird One passes the White House as decorated by First Lady Melania Trump, whose fond memories of nuclear winters in Chernobyl, as depicted in HBO’s touching biography of Ms. Trump “Chernobyl”, right, inspired this year’s holiday makeover of the Nation’s capital.
The traditional White House Christmas tree was selected by the First Lady for it similar size and shape to the cooling tower of Chernobyl’s Reactor Number Four.
CLOCKWISE FROM ABOVE: Russian White House staff will wear lab coats and dosimeters as while catering and bugging guests at this years holiday celebration — all to complete First Lady Melania’s nostalgia tribute to Christmases in glistening white snow of Pripyat, Ukraine.
FACT CHECK: Is it true that there is an arrest warrant for President-elect Joe Biden, “wanted for questioning related to the death of John F. Kennedy Jr., treason, fraud, human trafficking, pedophilia and crimes against humanity.”
TRUE: The American-run Guantanamo Bay Detention Center is seeking to, at last, bring the notorious President-elect to justice on the sunny shores of Cuba. The arrest warrant, was first brought to light through the investigative efforts of YouTuber, “Cindy K. Currier,” herself a write-in candidate for president in 2020. And not bitter, at all.
Running on a platform of a “natural law,” Ms. Currier has written a “Court of the Ages, Law of the Land Handbook” with a “vision for a new America,” which includes a guaranteed income on debit cards she has already designed, featuring herself on the Presidential seal. Thus, we at Terrible Liar have every reason to trust her integrity.
While Ms. Currier only claims to have a copy of the arrest warrant, and makes no allegations against Mr. Biden, Terrible Liar has been able to verify – through speaking to a number of people familiar with the issues at Pep Boys – that Mr. Biden (a) did, in fact, kill JFK, (b) frequently committed treason and fraud while sleeping in congress, and (c) participates in the trafficking of humans and children in exchange for Phillies tickets. We find less believable, however, his alleged “crimes against humanity” as research into his vice-presidency has revealed little impact on anyone or anything.
While the so-called “mainstream media” has yet to pick up on the veracity of Ms. Currier’s arrest warrant and allegations, Terrible Liar calls her story: TRUE!
TRUE! In April of 2011, French firemen, or “le garcons,” responded to a report of an angular-cheeked man in his 50s, either an American or underfed Gypsy, who had fallen from the 12th floor of Hotel L’andouille with a Stratocaster and bottle of Bulleit bourbon.
While never officially filed, reporting officers at the time say Depp, 57, initially blamed the fall on then-wife, Amber Heard, who allegedly called him a “drunken Hollywood prune, who would rather snort Roxicodone off Benicio del Toro’s ass than watch me do squats! Tell me what’s wrong with that!” before pushing Depp down onto the rue below. Depp, himself, later denied the incident, saying he fell while doing his famed “Pirates the Carribean” Capt. Jack Sparrow’s swagger to entertain a bellhop. The bellhop denied the prancing and confirmed that the 114-lbs Ms. Heard had, indeed, picked up, spun over her head, and threw Mr. Depp (112-lbs) off the balcony – after Depp drank a bottle of her Baccarat Rouge Parfum, and refused to stop playing “Jumping Jack Flash” for three hours at a party. “Ironman” actor, Robert Downey Jr., reportedly also at the Partee in Paris, did not respond for comment to Terribleliars.com. Though he seldom does.